Sorrow and Passion
by hidden dreamer
Summary: Tomoyo is all alone...Eriol is all alone...he visits her and finds something E+T *one shot*


~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
It is dark out. The moon reflects pale light through the large windows of my bedroom. I sit in the shadows, contemplating my miserable and meaningless life.  
  
I am alone. Always alone. It doesn't matter how many people are around me, because I am still alone. I loved my best friend Sakura, and yet she was stolen from me by another friend of mine, Syaoran Li. Sakura was never mine to begin with, yet now that Syaoran is in her life, I am left out. I got them together, so I guess it is partly my fault. But who can blame me? I just wanted Sakura to be happy, and she was always happiest around Syaoran. My other friends have their own lives and aren't alone either. Chiharu has Takashi. Rika had Terada-sensei. Naoko has her books. Yukito has Touya. Kero has Yue as his companion.  
  
To my mother, I am just a reminder of my father who left us when I was only baby. I resemble him so much, or so I am told. My mother, the famous Sonomi Daidouji immerses herself in work, leaving me alone most of the time.  
  
No one knows how I truly feel for I hide it within my many masks. Everyone thinks of me as innocent, sweet Tomoyo Daidouji. But I am not half as innocent as I seem. I have seen reality at its worst, and am scarred by it. There is only one person who sees through my masks, and that is Eriol Hiiragiwaza. But of course he lives in England with his fiance, Kaho. He isn't alone.  
  
I sigh, and tears stream down my pale face. This happens often. At night, when I am alone, I can let me emotions spill through. The pain. Loneliness. Anger. Sadness. I can't even remember when I was ever truly happy. Of course I have had happiness with Sakura, but that was before Syaoran came and took it all away.  
  
Poor innocent Sakura. She doesn't realize how many hearts she has broken with that gentle smile and pure heart of hers. Boys look at her longingly. I watch her sadly, knowing I can never have her.  
  
I used to think that her happiness was my happiness, yet that is no longer true. She has moved away to Hong Kong, marrying Syaoran at last. And I am still here, alone in the enormous Daidouji mansion.  
  
Sleep slowly comes to me, and I slip into my bed. Dreams visit me, yet they are not happy dreams, but dreams of sorrow...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
Sighing, I turn away from the large window in my bedroom. The moonligh reminds me of things I wish not to remember at all. I am all alone. Not even Spinelsun or Ruby Moon can provide anything to cure my loneliness. I need another human to be with me, yet I know of no other person who could want to be with me.  
  
Kaho left me two years ago, saying that I could not give her what she wanted. I realized that all she wanted was my power, or rather Clow's power. She loved power, not me. Even though I loved her deeply.  
  
When she left, it shattered my heart into uncountable pieces, and I was completely depressed. I still haven't gotten over her, yet now I don't feel that pain as deeply as before.  
  
Now I have no one whatsoever. I am all alone in this harsh and cruel world. Alone. No one else could be as lonely as I am...but a faint image comes to my mind. Tomoyo.  
  
Why would I think of her? She isn't alone. She has her best friend Sakura to keep her company. And suddenly I remember the invitation to Sakura's wedding to Syaoran last year. The invitation that I tossed aside carelessly, still in grieving for Kaho.  
  
I close my eyes and search for Tomoyo's faint aura halfway around the world. And there it is, tinged with sorrow and pain. How could I not have sensed it before? And abruptly I feel a pang of pain in my heart, striking deep down to my soul.  
  
Tomoyo. Lovely Tomoyo, the queen of masks. Tomoyo, with her gentle eyes and raven hair. Her pale skin, smooth and silky. I remember how she would look longingly at Sakura, and turn away sighing. Sighing in sadness and regret.  
  
In my own sorrow, I didn't sense how much pain my best friend Tomoyo was feeling. Well, she had been my best friend those nine years ago while I was in Japan. How could I have been so naive? I had known Tomoyo was lonely, but I never realized how much Sakura's wedding would have affected her.  
  
Instantly I decide to pay a visit to Japan, maybe even settle in there. Well, I would have to leave in the morning, once I got my rest and packed up. Nakuru would be pleased, since she would be able to bug Yue. And Spinel would be able to play video games with Keroberus.  
  
And slowly I fall asleep...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
I woke up to the rays of sunlight streaming in through my windows. Groaning, I got up to face another meaningless day of my dreary life.  
  
Barely bothering to dress nicely, I shrugged on a simple white blouse and black jeans. I walked down the stairs, and just as I arrived at the bottom, the doorbell rang.  
  
Who could that be? No one ever visited me, unless Sakura was in town for a visit to her father and brother.  
  
Opening the door, I was surprised to see a young man with messy, dark blue hair and deep blue eyes standing there. He looked awfully familiar...  
  
"...Hiiragiwaza-kun?" I whispered in complete surprise.  
  
With a charming smile and said, "Good morning Daidouji-san. I was in the area, and decided to pay a visit to you."  
  
"Where are you staying?"  
  
Sheepishly, he replied, "In a motel not too far away."  
  
"A motel!?! You are going to stay here, not in some crappy motel where there are bugs and things running around," I screeched.  
  
"...uh, okay. I'll just send Nakuru to get my luggage then."  
  
I invited him, with a dumbfounded expression still on my face. Why would he want to visit me of all people? I wasn't anything to him except that I used to be a best friend to him when we were eleven. But, that was nine years ago. Nine years!  
  
"Would you like some tea, Hiiragiwaza-kun?" I asked him.  
  
"That would be nice. Oh, and please call me Eriol-kun. Hiiragiwaza- kun is so formal," he told me with a smile.  
  
"Then you must call me Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-kun," I said.  
  
Walking over to the stove, I made some tea, and when it was finished, served a cup of it to him.  
  
While we sipped our tea, I got a good look at him for the first time. I noticed that he had grown much over the years since I had seen him last. He was still thin, but had acquired a more muscular build. His eyes were still as mysterious and penetrating as always, and his hair fell into his face, just as I had remembered.  
  
Suddenly noticing that I was staring, I turned away, blushing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
I noticed Tomoyo looking at me intensely, as if studying me, and she suddenly looked away, blushing crimson. I almost chuckled, but held it back, knowing it wouldn't be polite. And of course I had also been studying her.  
  
She had grown into a beautiful young woman since I had seen her. Her amethyst eyes are still stunning, yet they are more dulled then the last time I saw her. Her raven hair is longer, and still as ravishingly thick and lustrous. Her skin is creamy pale, and her curves are supple...wait a minute. Where did that come from? Of course she is attractive, but why am I thinking thoughts like 'her curves are supple'? That was starting to get a little hentai, so I shook the thought from my mind.  
  
"So, what do you want to do? Visit the park?" Tomoyo asked me, shaking me out of my thoughts.  
  
"That would be fine."  
  
So, we stood up and left the mansion, heading towards the park. Ah, I remember the park well. Sakura had caught many Clow Cards there, and changed them there also.  
  
After we got to the park and just wandered along for a while, we suddenly heard a voice call out, "Tomoyo-chan!"  
  
Tomoyo looked behind her and saw Sakura and Syaoran walking up to them. The surprising thing was that Sakura looked to be about seven months pregnant. Tomoyo looked completely shocked, and just stood there, stiff.  
  
Instantly I saw one of her masks go up and she smiled at Sakura. Though, I noticed that her eyes were completely sad.  
  
"Hi, Sakura. What are you doing here?" Tomoyo said in what I thought was a too cheery voice.  
  
"Syaoran and I were visiting my father and my onii-chan for a couple days. I'm going back to Hong Kong tonight, but I wanted to see you first since I haven't heard from you in a while. You haven't replied to any of my letters," Sakura told Tomoyo.  
  
Tomoyo hadn't replied to any of Sakura's letters? I thought this was strange of Tomoyo. Unless she hadn't received the letters, but why wouldn't she reveive them?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
I just couldn't take it any longer. I hadn't replied to Sakura's numerous letters; I hadn't even opened them. Why? Because I didn't want to hear how happy Sakura was while she lived her perfect life.  
  
"I never opened them," was my simple reply.  
  
I thought Sakura needed to know the truth because I didn't want to carry on the charades any longer.  
  
"Why?" she asked me.  
  
"Why? You want to know why? Because while you have this all perfect life, I am all alone. You never knew that I loved you, because I knew how you'd take it. And I knew that I could never have you. I am sick of being alone, watching the one person I love be with another," I yelled my voice cracking as tears started welling up in my eyes.  
  
Sakura looked shocked, and tears streamed down her face at the harsh tone in my voice.  
  
Suddenly I started running, running away from them, to anywhere. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't care. I just had to get away. I had hurt Sakura. Hurt. Her.  
  
I collapsed on a bridge overlooking a small pond, and just wept.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
Looking at Sakura's ashen face, I told her, "Gomen ne for Tomoyo's behavior. It is true what she said, but she never meant to hurt you. Pardon her for a while, until she can regain control of herself."  
  
Sniffling, Sakura nodded. Syaoran put his arm around her, and after a few moments of chatting, they left to go back to her father's house. And I went to find Tomoyo.  
  
After a few minutes, it started raining pretty hard, and I knew that I had to find Tomoyo before she caught a cold or worse. Stretching out my magical senses, I saw that she was on a bridge not too far away.  
  
Hurriedly, I rushed over to her, and found her collapsed on the ground, sobbing. Her long hair was draped around her in wet strands, covering her pale face.  
  
I picked her up, and when she protested weakly, I murmured, "Its me, Eriol. I'm taking you home."  
  
It took a while to get to the mansion, and when I got inside, I saw that Tomoyo had lost consciousness and was shivering greatly. I carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom, where I set her on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and came out with a couple towels. Careful not to look at her body, I took her clothing off and wrapped the towels around her to warm her up. Then, I placed the covers over her and went over to sit in the rocking chair beside the bed.  
  
Soon, I fell asleep, after making sure Tomoyo had stopped shivering and had no fever or anything.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
I woke up and looked at Eriol, who was sleeping in the chair by the bed. He looked so peaceful...so handsome.  
  
Now wait a minute...where the hell did that thought come from? I shook the thought from my head as new thoughts came into my mind.  
  
Why did Eriol come looking for me when he could have come home and have stayed dry? Why did he come after me?  
  
All of a sudden I saw him stir awake, and I sat up. He looked at me and said, "Tomoyo, you have to stop this. Can't you see that you are tearing yourself up over something that you have no control over?"  
  
I was completely shocked. Flinching slightly, I told him, "Who the hell gave you the right to say something like that to me?"  
  
"I did. I know exactly what you are going through. I mean, I've been through it myself! I tore myself up over it and I lost precious time that I could have spent finding someone else. I don't want to see you go through any more grief or sorrow," he yelled at me.  
  
"What have you gone through that could make you understand what I'm going through?"  
  
"Two years ago Kaho left me, even though I loved her with all my heart. She said that she had never really loved me, that she had only loved the Clow part of me. Inside, I died when I heard that. Our whole relationship was a complete and utter lie! So I know very well how you feel!" Eriol yelled, his voice cracking as a few tears slipped from his eyes, as he remembered Kaho.  
  
Kaho had left him? She had never really loved him? But how could someone not love Eriol? Just leave him all alone with a shattered heart? That bitch...ooh...I wanted to kill her for what she did to Eriol.  
  
Eriol noticed that tears were slipping down his face, and he hid his face in his hands. He looked so worn suddenly, and it made me sad to see him like that.  
  
Now wait a minute. I wasn't supposed to be feeling sorry for anyone. I was supposed to be feeling sad about my wretched life, not someone elses.  
  
But I couldn't help it. He looked so sad and worn down. Suddenly I felt a twinge of pain in my heart. I got up and walked over to him, kneeling in front of him. Tilting his face up from his hands, I stared into his eyes...  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
Tomoyo had made me think of all the things I was trying to forget. The way Kaho had left me all alone. And I couldn't help but break up inside, again.  
  
When she lifted my face up and stared into my eyes, I stared back into her eyes. Suddenly I felt myself getting lost in their violet brilliance. They looked so sad and sorrowful, and I felt a pain in my heart.  
  
We both were going through the loneliest times of our lives, and we were both helpless by memories and emotions. We both his our true feelings behind masks and lied about ourselves to ourselves.  
  
I started feeling a strange tug on my heart while looking into her eyes. Her eyes...they were so beautiful...so compelling and captivating...and I was drowning in them...  
  
What was going on? I was supposed to still love Kaho. But I was feeling things towards Tomoyo that I couldn't explain. These feelings were different from the ones I felt for Kaho. And I suddenly realized that I hadn't even really loved Kaho. I knew her too well. But then...who did I love? Oh no...I couldn't love...Tomoyo?  
  
But Tomoyo loved Sakura and I could never replace her. Never. Why did my heart do this to me?  
  
  
  
  
  
~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
I looked into Eriol's eyes and was captivated by them. Their deep blue color was so compelling. I could see the sorrow deep in there. And...something else.  
  
And I started feeling something strange deep inside of me. It made my stomach flutter and lightened my heavy heart. But why? It couldn't be love because I loved Sakura...right?  
  
But...when I was around Eriol, I felt different than I had ever felt about anyone before, even Sakura. I couldn't even describe the feeling.  
  
Looking deeper into his eyes, I suddenly realized that I DID love Eriol. But how? And why? This wasn't supposed to happen. And anyway, he couldn't love me back. He just couldn't.  
  
I slowly stood up, still looking into his eyes. Noticing that he was looking into my eyes also made me blush. Without knowing what I was doing, I leaned closer towards him. He stood up and leaned closer towards me, too. What was happening?  
  
I felt a strange heat coming from Eriol, and it made me feel all tingly. Gulping, I leaned even closer towards him. I saw his breathing quicken, just as mine did. I could feel my heart beating very fast.  
  
"...Tomoyo," Eriol whispered, his voice hoarse.  
  
"...."  
  
"...I...love...you," he whispered to me softly.  
  
I couldn't believe it. He had to be joking! He couldn't love me. There wasn't anything about me that anyone could love, least of all him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
I held my breath, waiting for Tomoyo's answer. I knew that she would say that she hated me, I just knew it.  
  
So, I was completely surprised when she whispered, "I love you too, Eriol."  
  
It took a few moments for my brain to register what she said, and I almost fainted in delight.  
  
Slowly and hesitantly, I leaned closer towards her and brushed my lips against hers. My arms wrapped around her waist as hers wrapped around my neck.  
  
She deepened the kiss, and pressed herself closer to me, until we were both pressed together quite closely.  
  
After a few moments, we broke apart because we needed more air, and then we kissed again. I could literally feel the heat radiating from her skin, even beneath her thick clothing. I ran my hands up and down her sides, and smiled against her mouth when she shivered.  
  
The kiss became even more passionate, and barely withouth knowing what we were doing, we fell back onto the bed, with me on top.  
  
Her hands were somehow now pushing up my shirt, running her hands over my chest. That made me moan slightly, and I heard her giggle in delight.  
  
The next thing I know, I was kissing my way down her chin, neck, and now her chest. Her blouse was suddenly open and without further invite, kissed her supple chest. She moaned, and now it was my turn to laugh.  
  
And somehow we were under the covers...our clothing quickly disappearing...the heat becoming even greater...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Tomoyo  
  
  
  
I woke up the next morning to find Eriol sleeping beside me. Memories from the night before came into my head and I smiled. I finally had my own true love.  
  
  
  
I softly began to sing a song I had made up, as not to wake him up.  
  
  
  
Gently the branches sway  
  
  
  
Listening to the words the winds say  
  
  
  
Softly a light rain falls  
  
  
  
Drops of water like tiny balls  
  
  
  
Love is found this night  
  
  
  
As darkness becomes light  
  
  
  
I will no more be sad  
  
  
  
Always I shall be glad  
  
  
  
In hope or despair  
  
  
  
Because we are a pair  
  
  
  
That will be be apart never  
  
  
  
Together always and forever  
  
  
  
  
  
~Eriol  
  
  
  
I stirred to the sound of someone singing in the sweetest voice I had ever heard, and I smiled. My sweet angel was singing the most beautiful song I had heard in the longest while. I couldn't believe it. Tomoyo was mine. I finally had someone to call my own.  
  
  
  
And I knew we would never be apart...whether in life or death...always and forever... 


End file.
